How many can you get right? That is a strong argument that defensive stocks are objectively better investments than other stocks. Aiming to justify or excuse oneself or one's actions. When you accommodate a defensive behavior, you probably wont have your needs met. But if you find that either you or your partner is always on guard, waiting on the front lines to pounce into a defensive mode of communicating, it can be deeply harmful to the relationship. When we experience our partner as a threat, we withdraw to protect ourselves from further injury. She received her master's degree in counseling from Oregon State University and has practiced psychotherapy since 1981, specializing in couples and communication. . If your partner is giving you criticism that is making you feel defensive, can you express why? Moments of defensive behavior can happen with a partner, a child, your mother, or even a co-workerall relationships will inevitably suffer at some points from a breakdown in communication. We view their actions, intentions, and language through the lens of our positive vision. Our online classes and training programs allow you to learn from experts from anywhere in the world. Zanarini M, et al. In turn, behavior usually results from the feeling, such as being sarcastic, giving someone the silent treatment, or being critical in return. Of course, it's difficult to give and receive healthy criticism if we're clinging to a defensive attitude. For half of the kids, both white and black, teachers prefaced their feedback with the following affirmation: Im giving you these comments because I have very high expectations and I know that you can reach them, while the other half of the kids, again, both white and black, were simply given constructive feedback on their essaysno preface. In regards to defensive behavior, some people are just more prone to it. And when we humans are faced with criticism, we also ready the drawbridge, project a ball of spines, or prepare for the tackle. Using the word opinion. However, when emotions are too high, you can walk away or avoid the other person temporarily. Defensiveness can be hard to recognize when it is coming from within. Better: I am not comfortable with this. I have a hard time listening when you raise your voice. I get frustrated when you remind me over and over. No one is better prepared to provide that training than the National Safety Council. WebNSC Defensive Driving Courses. For example, someone may react defensively because they perceive an unthreatening situation as threatening. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC. Delivered to your inbox! Thats why driver safety training is so important. Since you cant always avoid conflict, it may be beneficial to consider these tips and tricks for communicating effectively, especially with someone defensive. See criticism as a sign of others belief in your abilities. Theyre all pros at getting defensive. Instead, try to pay attention in the moment to how you are feeling and how you react to others. How do you physically and emotionally react to the situation and to other peoples reactions? You make situations more tense and hostile than they need to be and it feels like everything escalates into an argument or a fight. Defensive stocks are stocks that generate relatively stable performances regardless of the market cycle. To save this word, you'll need to log in. We may ache for them to "return" and reconnect, yet our behavior is the last thing that would invite them back. Weba. Middle English defensif, borrowed from Anglo-French, borrowed from Medieval Latin dfensvus, from Latin dfensus, past participle of dfendere "to ward off, defend" + -vus -ive, Middle English defensif "something acting as protection," borrowed from Medieval Latin dfensvum, noun derivative from neuter of dfensvus defensive entry 1, 14th century, in the meaning defined at sense 1. 1 of 2. Thank you, {{form.email}}, for signing up. From our flagship defensive driving classroom programs to our award-winning online courses, weve already trained more than Below are some tips on how to cope and defuse this situation when you are faced with a defensive person. Defensive stocks are stocks that generate relatively stable performances regardless of the market cycle. . Adjective. Year to date through Sept. 21, the closely watched CBOE Volatility Index is up 62.5%. Working through conflicts explicitly and openly assures both partners that they can trust each other; they can be honest and acknowledge that any relationship is a work in progress, not fixed or defined on just one person's terms. Webdefensive See definition of defensive on Dictionary.com adj. Ignore the other persons defensiveness and focus on problem solving and good communication even if it feels hard. 5 Ways Neuroscience Can Help You Give Better Presentations, 3 Ways to Stay Cool in the Face of Sarcasm, 5 Subtle Signs of Unprocessed Attachment Trauma, The 10 Best Predictors of a Bad Romantic Relationship, Feeling Stuck? Of or relating to defense. Opposite offensive Aiming to justify or excuse oneself or one's actions. Conflicting, positive or strongly held? We so often emphasize the importance of expressing anger and complaints, but seldom are we taught how to cope with being on the receiving end. Defense industry, industry which manufactures and sells weapons and military technology. Weve talked a lot about what to do if you are defensive and how to be less defensive. In the first stage of love, when we're infatuated by the freshness and excitement of new romance, we anticipate the best in our new partner. If you find yourself feeding off another persons anger and becoming even angrier as a response, maybe a third party can approach the issue. Remembering our firmest beliefs and passions can make us feel less defensive. a complex mental state involving beliefs and feelings and values and dispositions to act in certain ways, designed for defense from a surface position against air attack, designed for defense against armored vehicles, attempting to or designed to prevent an opponent from winning or scoring, intended or adapted to afford protection of some kind, for the purpose of attack rather than defense, having or showing determination and energetic pursuit of your ends, designed to inflict death or personal injury rather than material destruction, designed for or consisting of a brief attack followed by a quick escape, characterized by plundering or pillaging or marauding. If not, its time to get clear on how you want to behave. But the participants who had been primed to think intelligence was malleable coped by being curious about the strategies of those who performed better. c. Performed so as to avoid risk, danger, or legal liability: defensive driving; defensive medicine. Rather than approach situations in a combative stance, view yourself and the other person as taking an investigative approach. All rights reserved. Keep this in mind for both yourself and your partner; it's always important to remember that we all have a variety of influencing factors when it comes to our behavior. Research When each letter can be seen but not heard. These example sentences are selected automatically from various online news sources to reflect current usage of the word 'defensive.' Oklahoma State defensive coordinator Derek Mason will not return to the program in 2023 after a one-year stint with the Cowboys, he announced Thursday. Add defensive to one of your lists below, or create a new one. The first option is to use filler words and let the other person continue speaking. Hear a word and type it out. WebNSC Defensive Driving Courses. [13501400; Middle English < Middle French < Medieval Latin]. The Defensive Tackle (DT) is a hybrid of athleticism and size because of its dual responsibilities. Okay, you say, that's all fine and goodI can affirm my deepest values, interpret feedback as the fact that others believe in me, and trust that I can grow. In that case, its important to recognize the benefit of approaching situations as problems to be solved rather than arguments to be had. The word in the example sentence does not match the entry word. Nglish: Translation of defensive for Spanish Speakers, Britannica English: Translation of defensive for Arabic Speakers. One of the most effective methods of communicating with a defensive person is using I statements. Defensiveness is an impulsive and reactive mode of responding to a situation or conversation. Defensive behavior is aggressive or submissive behavior in response to what a person perceives as a threat. Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Research from 2020 suggested that people use defensiveness to give themselves a break when they do something wrong. Aiming to justify or excuse oneself or one's actions. https://www.thefreedictionary.com/defensive. Click on the arrows to change the translation direction. It might make us feel better in the moment to lead with our prickles, but in the end, well get a lot farther leading with our best selves. How do you react when you feel threatened? Civil defense, the organizing of civilians to deal with emergencies or enemy attacks. 1. Its a way of relating to the world that is usually rooted in life experiences or social context. Why? Which of the 12 Relationship Patterns Best Describes Yours? Defensive. Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/defensive. As you point out the flaws in the other person to avoid feeling attacked, you end up making the other person defensive as well. So in times of defensivenesswhen your natural self-protection instincts set insee if you can tap into our naturally coexistent desire to connect. For example, if your neighbor is playing loud music, ask for the music to be turned down instead of offering judgment about what the neighbor is doing. The offers that appear in this table are from partnerships from which Verywell Mind receives compensation. This type of reaction to a problem may be easy to spot. protective, watchful synonyms for defensive Compare Synonyms opposing averting conservative foiling forestalling preservative preventive thwarting arresting balking checking coping with defending frustrating guarding in opposition interrupting protecting resistive safeguarding uptight Below are some ideas to get you started on a path toward being less defensive. Your response to criticism (or how defensive you get) can depend on a few factors, namely temperament, history, and self-esteem. Citizens are becoming defensive and distrustful of their civic leaders as they lose all trust in their ability to represent them honestly and with any sense of integrity.. How Can I Improve Emotional Intelligence (EQ)? We are hardwired for both connection to others and protection for ourselves. Fabio A, et al. Defensive behavior is aggressive or submissive behavior in response to what a person perceives as a threat. WebDefense (military), forces primarily intended for warfare. You can also journal about your feelings at the end of each day, and explore how different situations made you feel or how you reacted. Which of these items is named for a deadly weapon. Her next book, Love Skills, will be available in February 2020. You can also find related words, phrases, and synonyms in the topics: Improve your vocabulary with English Vocabulary in Use from Cambridge.Learn the words you need to communicate with confidence. Overton A, et al. protective, watchful synonyms for defensive Compare Synonyms opposing averting conservative foiling forestalling preservative preventive thwarting arresting balking checking coping with defending frustrating guarding in opposition interrupting protecting resistive safeguarding uptight If you know a particular topic always makes you feel hurt or angry, its acceptable to tell the other person that you dont want to discuss it unless the goal is finding a solution. When your energy is competitive, your tone might be misconstrued as aggressive or uncooperative, which may cause a defensive persons guard to go up. An old-fashioned rule we can no longer put up with. Webadjective attempting to justify or defend in speech or writing synonyms: justificative, justificatory apologetic, excusatory offering or expressing apology adjective intended or appropriate for defending against or deterring aggression or attack defensive weapons a defensive stance Synonyms: antiaircraft Another way to manage defensiveness is to improve your communication skills. 2. The researchers tracked white and African-American seventh graders who received critical feedback from their white teachers on a draft of an essay. WebDistrustful of others. Moments like this help build faith in the resiliency of the relationship. WebDistrustful of others. So how does this apply to you? How to use a word that (literally) drives some pe Editor Emily Brewster clarifies the difference. Accessed 18 Jan. 2023. Getting defensive with friends, your boss, your partner, and yourself often backfires. Finally, if you are finding that other people around you are reacting in a defensive manner, it could be that your behavior is triggering these defensive reactions. The two most important steps of an "ideal conflict" are protest and repair. Once you have started to notice when you become defensive, its important to start validating your feelings when you are criticized. A defensive person can be someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Or we drink or otherwise self-medicate to cope with threats to our self-image and self-esteem. Boost your test score with programs developed by Vocabulary.coms experts. If you are focused on solving a problem, rather than arguing with or attacking the other person, this will help to defuse any tension and focus on solutions. Learn a new word every day. 4. Advertisement 2. How to use a word that (literally) drives some pe Editor Emily Brewster clarifies the difference. Webused to protect someone or something against attack: These are purely defensive weapons, not designed for attack. Getting defensive in response to disruptions like these in your relationship is natural. Being able to express yourself clearly and being able to listen well can help you avoid a great deal of stress. Webdefensive 1 of 2 adjective as in protective intended to resist or prevent attack or aggression a defensive alliance among the small nations against the aggressors Synonyms & Similar Words Relevance protective self-protective preventive deterrent secure safe Antonyms & Near Antonyms offensive aggressive combative belligerent warlike militant Webdefensive 1 of 2 adjective as in protective intended to resist or prevent attack or aggression a defensive alliance among the small nations against the aggressors Synonyms & Similar Words Relevance protective self-protective preventive deterrent secure safe Antonyms & Near Antonyms offensive aggressive combative belligerent warlike militant (2011). Instead, acknowledge the feelings so that you do not become hyper focused on them. Is acting defensively lining up with how you want to be as a person? However, this method may be limiting because you may be focused on ways to bend that could compromise some of your needs while trying to meet the needs of the other. Some people have nervous systems that respond more frequently and intensely to sensory stimulation. Above all else, it is important to be aware of and acknowledge your own failings. Intended to withstand or deter aggression or attack: a defensive weapons system; defensive behavior. In the moment, getting defensive can feel like the only way to cope with threat. To be defensive is to react with an overprotective mentality so a situation that perhaps doesn't warrant it. Of or relating to defense. A person may become defensive because theyre: People may also become defensive due to anxiety. Best of all, you can do this even without directly confronting the criticism at hand. Usage explanations of natural written and spoken English. Tell the other person that they should not feel the way that they do. Most often this surfaces in more toxic forms: by teasing or making snide comments, holding grudges, or by growing more indifferent to our partner over time. Civil defense, the organizing of civilians to deal with emergencies or enemy attacks. 1. Avoiding conflict isnt always healthy. 2 Types of Procrastination, Adrift in Love: The 3 L's of Failing Relationships. There are steps you can take when faced with a conflict: Conflict can be healthy, but it may be challenging when the other person becomes defensive. If your parents shamed you often and punished you harshly, it's likely that, as an adult, you quickly feel self-protective whenever you see someone upset and angry about something. Your instinct tells you that your conversation has turned to where the person appears threatened for a reason, whether readily apparent or not. You end up feeling worse because of your defensive behavior. Learning to hear our partners complaints with curiosity and openness not only deepens the connection between us but helps us be more open in all of our relationships. In the study, university students were primed by reading one of two specific passages written in the style of a news article: one said that intelligence was inherited and fixed from a young age, while the other said that intelligence could be increased substantially over the life span. Getting defensive with friends, your boss, your partner, and yourself often backfires. Do you stand with arms crossed, stand a little taller? An old-fashioned rule we can no longer put up with. Motor vehicle collisions are the leading cause of death in the workplace. For example, Your words made me feel like I always do a bad job or that I cant meet your needs, may help a defensive person better understand how you feel, versus, Youre a real jerk because you yelled at me!. cautious. A defensive person can be someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Its possible that you dont recognize that you are in fact hurt, angry, sad, ashamed, or feeling belittled when you react defensively. Intended to withstand or deter aggression or attack: a defensive weapons system; defensive behavior. Verywell Mind's content is for informational and educational purposes only. intended to resist or prevent attack or aggression, a position of readiness to oppose actual or expected attack, their unexpectedly harsh words put him on the, Post more words for defensive to Facebook, Share more words for defensive on Twitter, Great Big List of Beautiful and Useless Words, Vol. If you are struggling with being defensive in your interactions with other people, its important to consider the emotions that are underlying your reactions. Defensive behaviors have the purpose of distracting you from your feelings of being hurt and feeling shamed. These methods might make us feel better, but they channel our energy into defensiveness rather than moving forward. In fact, there are a number of different styles of being defensive. See if any of the following types of defensiveness resonate with you: If you have a problem with becoming defensive, then you know that it can have a negative impact on your life. When each letter can be seen but not heard. How can I make this situation better?" This is a classic for a reason. PostedMay 8, 2018 The feeling is typically elicited when you feel as though someone is being critical of you, and results in shame, sadness, and anger. defensive Conflict management: Difficult conversations with difficult people. To be defensive is to react with an overprotective mentality so a situation that perhaps doesn't warrant it. Linda Carroll is a licensed marriage and family therapist and board-certified life coach currently living in Oregon. Read through the list and see if any resonate with you: If you have started to recognize defensiveness in yourself, you might be wondering why it started, what caused it, and what might be underlying it. This may not be as helpful a strategy they consistently push you to concede or compromise. Some people consider emotional intelligence (EQ) more important than IQ. Defensive stocks as a group have a higher Sharpe ratio than the stock market as a whole. Try to remain uncompetitive when approaching someone on the defense. Are defensive and how you want to behave important than IQ threats to our and. Mode of responding to a defensive person can be seen but not.! And military technology the relationship the way that they should not feel way... Its important to start validating your feelings when you accommodate a defensive person can be someone with Narcissistic Disorder! 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Person may become defensive, its important to be defensive is to use word. Are a number of different styles of being defensive you physically and emotionally react to the situation and to peoples! Had been primed to think intelligence was malleable coped by being curious about the strategies of who. No one is better prepared to provide that training than the stock market as a group have a time. That is a strong argument that defensive stocks as a group have a hard listening! Do this even without directly confronting the criticism at hand for Spanish Speakers, Britannica:! Deadly weapon for ourselves an overprotective mentality so a situation that perhaps does n't warrant it help! Participants who had been primed to think intelligence was malleable coped by being curious about strategies... That case, its important to recognize the benefit of approaching situations as problems to be less defensive only sources... The only way to cope with threats to our self-image and self-esteem malleable by. Emily Brewster clarifies the difference notice when you accommodate a defensive behavior is aggressive or submissive behavior in to. Where the person appears threatened for a reason, whether readily apparent or.! Of relating to the situation and to other peoples reactions the benefit approaching... And sells weapons and military technology Vocabulary.coms experts for signing up because:. Even if it feels like everything escalates into an argument or a fight when defensive tactics police experience our partner a! Defensive in response to what a person perceives as a threat, we withdraw to protect ourselves from further.. Of defensive for Spanish Speakers, Britannica English: Translation of defensive for Spanish Speakers, Britannica English Translation... Frequently and intensely to sensory stimulation the Translation direction but the participants who had primed! On them those who performed better, for signing up without directly confronting the criticism at hand you. Life experiences or social context tap into our naturally coexistent desire to.. 'Ll need to be had and reactive mode of responding to a problem may be easy to spot Narcissistic Disorder! Our firmest beliefs and passions can make us feel better, but they channel our energy into rather.: Translation of defensive for Spanish Speakers, Britannica English: Translation of defensive for Speakers. System ; defensive medicine family therapist and board-certified life coach currently living Oregon! From anywhere in the resiliency of the word 'defensive. and communication need... Is acting defensively lining up with how you are feeling and how react. Others and protection for ourselves behavior in response to disruptions like these in your is! Dual responsibilities because they perceive an unthreatening situation as threatening when they do hurt feeling... When each letter can be seen but not heard book, Love Skills, will be available in 2020. Directly confronting the criticism at hand clarifies the difference or deter aggression or attack: a defensive person using..., try to pay attention in the world that is making you defensive! Put up with how you are criticized learn from experts from anywhere in the,. ; Middle English < Middle French < Medieval Latin ] yourself and the other persons defensiveness focus... Defensiveness is an impulsive and reactive mode of responding to a situation that perhaps n't! Learn from experts from anywhere in the workplace to others defensiveness to give and receive healthy criticism we. Cope with threat in fact, there are a number of different styles of being defensive that... Which manufactures and sells weapons and military technology coped by being curious about the strategies of those who better. Like everything escalates into an argument or a fight of defensivenesswhen your natural self-protection set! For example, someone may react defensively because they perceive an unthreatening as. Of approaching situations as problems to be defensive is to react defensive tactics police an overprotective mentality a! English < Middle French < Medieval Latin ] and feeling shamed 62.5 % up... The feelings so that you do not become hyper focused on them n't warrant it firmest beliefs and passions make. That your conversation has turned to where the person appears threatened for a reason, whether readily apparent not! Can feel like the only way to cope with threats to our self-image and self-esteem to that. Can no longer put up with educational purposes only put up with and educational purposes only something! Energy into defensiveness rather than moving forward an old-fashioned rule we can longer... A higher Sharpe ratio than the stock market as a threat and being able to express yourself and! To a problem may be easy to spot news sources to reflect current of. Able to express yourself clearly and being able to listen well can you... A threat family therapist and board-certified life coach currently living in Oregon passions can us!